I hope that this letter reaches you in time of happiness. I suppose that when you make 31 million a year, there will be a lot of happiness in your life regardless of whether you are on the brink of elimination.
I just wanted to say that despite only lasting 3.1 innings during today’s game and giving up 4 earned runs, you still are a role model to me even though the Red Sox are on the verge of elimination. You consistently fail on the biggest stage and still manage to make loads and loads of cash. What resilience and guts you have to get away with this and still be the third highest paid player in baseball this year!
I also appreciate your disregard for the fact that in Boston, everyone hears what you say when you something questionable. Before game 2 of the ALDS, here was your quote.
I haven’t applied more pressure to myself this year as opposed to last year. I just didn’t throw the baseball well. And that’s all on me.
Wow, openly admitting that since it is not a contract year like last year that you don’t care as much. What great honesty you have Mr. Price. You even did it after clinching the AL East when asked if you signed here for the Sox potential.
It was the 217 million they gave me. That’s why I came here. Period. That’s why.
Wow, how truthful Mr. Price. Saying you hate Boston but it does not matter because they gave you so much money. What an honest guy you are David? Well, besides this one statement you made at the start of the year when asked about never winning a playoff game.
Guess I saved all my playoff wins for Boston
One lie never hurt. And anyways, you still might get a chance in-game 5 of the ALDS with everything on the line. Wouldn’t that be a great time for your first playoff win?
I also admire your appreciation for math and numbers. You make 31 million a year, pitched 3.1 innings today, and have given up 31 home runs this season. That must take some real skill to pull off.
Anyway David, I just wanted to let you know what a role model you have been to me and the rest of Red Sox nation. It has been an honor watching you pocket all that money and not perform. Everyone wishes they could not do their job and still get paid a crap ton of money.
Sincerely, Red Sox Nation
P.S. I can not emphasize how happy I am to see you here for 6 more years! What joy that brings me!
(Note: BOLD TEXT HIGHLIGHTS SARCASM)