— Drew Karedes (@DrewKaredes) June 21, 2017
Obviously the suspect in this case is a certified creep and pervert that deserves a swift kick to the groin by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts’ judicial system. That being said, the Boxford Police Department needs to throw up an Indeed.com job posting for a new sketch artist ASAP.
Now I’m typically not one to call for people’s jobs but when your primary responsibility is to accurately depict the human form through art, you cannot be sketching faces that look like a thumb with some lopsided facial features scribbled onto it. The Boxford police would have more luck catching this suspect if they just hung up posters of the Thumb Thumbs from Spy Kids, with the caption “Have You Seen This Man?”
Being a sketch artist that can’t draw is like being a surgeon who got their doctoral degree in Art History. It’s like, yea technically you’re a doctor, but while I’m bleeding out on the table, all you’re going to be able to tell me is what shade of red is gushing out of my body. Not exactly helpful.
Worst part is that this sketch artist was content enough with their own work to actually put their signature in the bottom right hand corner of this disaster. I’d have to imagine the artist’s thought process was “Yea this creep definitely looks like a combination of a thumb and Bobby from King of the Hill, another perfectly accurate sketch to add to my portfolio, the police will have this guy in cuffs by sun down.”