I’m just going to come out and be the first one to say this, Competitive Tag IS a sport and its competitors ARE in athletes. Was it brave of me to be the first one to go out on a limb and say this? Yes, yes it was, I’d actually prefer you use the word heroic, but I’ll also settle for whatever flattering adjective you find most fitting.
Regardless, I’m far too humble to talk about my own bravery/heroism/courage, rather I’d prefer that you, the readers, spread the folklore of my valiant stand on this topic to the masses. That way, when Competitive Tag is a billion dollar juggernaut in the sports industry, everyone will know who predicted it first. If you do this then I promise to thank you, the reader, in my acceptance speech for the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, at the 2020 ESPY’s hosted by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
Now you’re probably saying, “Ryan you seem so confident that Competitive Tag is going to explode into mainstream prominence, how is that going to happen?”. Well, my naive reader, I have two words for you, Robert Kraft. It’s no secret that Kraft just funneled a butt load of money (mere shekels in his eyes) into becoming the owner of a Boston Based E Sports team, for those of you that don’t know what that is, it’s basically just a bunch of nerds competitively playing video games while sitting upon a throne of crushed Monster Energy cans and empty bags of Doritos.
If Kraft is willing to dump money into that endeavor, surely he will have no issue financially jump starting the Competitive Tag League, as the sport closely mirrors football in the sense that it’s basically the same concept of a ball carrier evading a would be tackler. I mean look at the guys in the above video, elusiveness, dazzling quickness, elite change of direction speed, and I bet these guys could put up a three cone drill time that would force Bill Belichick to take a flyer on them late in the 7th round.
While this all sounds well and good, I’m already thinking of the future of the sport. Sure, with Robert Kraft at the helm the sport could reach the heights of competitive eating and be featured on ESPN 2 once a year, but for a sport to reach the pinnacle of success it needs stars. While the current Tager’s and Tagee’s are the pioneers of the sport they will not put the asses in the seats. Rather, imagine the likes of Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola establishing a 1,000-year Competitive Tag League dynasty after they retire from the NFL? Might as well start building a money pool for Scrooge McDuck to dive into for when all that sponsorship money starts rolling in.
Like all good things, this endeavor is going to take a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get off the ground. So excuse me while I sift through my expansive Rolodex, filled with the numbers of countless socialites and tycoons, to find Robert Kraft’s digits and get this project off the ground.
Still need more convincing? Here’s a look at the Tag World Championship from earlier this year-