— Marc Fortier (@MarcNBCBoston) August 1, 2017
Please excuse any typos in this article, as my eyes are still gushing blood after merely glancing at the monstrosity before me.
I just don’t understand how the physical aura of Tom Brady can be butchered in so many art mediums:
And now the most sacred form of artistic expression- wax.
Perhaps I am being to hard on the Dreamland Wax Museum’s, which just opened at Government Center in Boston, depiction of Tom Brady. While past attempts to capture the essence of Tom Brady through art (sketch/mask) have resulted in the countless tears of countless children (presumably), this most recent wax endeavor is relatively inoffensive. It legitimately just looks like they slapped a Brady jersey on a wax model called “generic white guy #2” and called it a day. Which is a pretty bold thing to do for a wax museum located in the heart of BOSTON. I mean, if their figurine of Elvis Presley wasn’t exactly up to snuff I don’t think anyone would really bat an eye, but to mold (which I assume is the correct verb to describe making a wax figure) such a half-assed version of the most beloved man in all of New England is truly mind boggling. Be better Dreamland Wax Museum, be better.
Though perhaps no one is to blame for this mundane creation as it may just be impossible to imitate the perfection that is Tom Brady’s chiseled jaw line, distinct chin dimple, infectious smile, and intoxicating blue eyes. It would be a pretty big ask to expect Michelangelo himself to recreate such perfection, can’t expect much from a no name Wax Museum.