Asked how did a tainted supplement get in his system Jeremy Kerley said, "I don’t know, a lot of ghosts around here. Ghost put it in. You know the ghost of Christmas past."
— Calvin Watkins (@calvinwatkins) December 13, 2017
Pretty savvy excuse used here by Jets WR Jeremy Kerley, as it’s almost impossible for the NFL to prove that a ghost DIDN’T take a leak in his drug sample.
But at the same time, Kerley’s explanation raises more questions than answers. Do ghosts even pee? Is their pee invisible? Do they have to cut a little hole in their ghost sheet so that it doesn’t get all wet and sticky? Imagine the amount of bleach a ghost would have to use to get a yellow stain like that out.
At Kerley’s appeal meeting I think he has to come prepared to answer all of these question if he has any shot at clearing his name. Because at the end of the day, it’s his responsibility to prove that a supernatural being, be it a ghost, spirit, or demon, did in fact contaminate his urine sample with whatever secretions these creature produce, whether that be pee, goo, plasma, or something else similarly sticky.
And though I am a mere novice at supernatural investigation, I can assure Kerley that the Ghost of Christmas Past is not to blame for this transgression. The Ghost of Christmas Future however, is someone I am not comfortable ruling out as a potential suspect just yet.
image via SB Nation