Minnesota Viking fans have figured out an inventive yet dangerous way to enact their revenge on the Philadelphia Eagle fans that stripped their city of the chance to both host and play in Super Bowl LII-
So who wants to become an Uber drive with me JUST for the Super Bowl so we can drop Eagles fans off at entirely wrong places?
— Kendra Susan (@Kendra_Susan) January 23, 2018
I'm signing up to be an Uber Driver just for the Super Bowl. It'll be fun dropping off Eagles fans in random wrong places. #SKOL
— MlSSINGinACTION XB1 (@SportsGeekDeek) January 23, 2018
I need to “friend” this guy coming up to Minneapolis from Dallas to drive Uber. He said he is only going to pick up Eagles fans and take them to the boonies and drop them off!! 😂
— Meg 🌴 (@SideGravy) January 23, 2018
I liked the suggestion on @BDandG963 this morning, where everyone signs up to be a Uber/Lyft drivers and drop Eagles fans off at random locations.
— Gina (@Peril_in_Pink) January 23, 2018
Going to sign up as a Uber Driver just so I can drop Eagles fans off at random places…
— David Landsteiner (@deltalima21) January 23, 2018
While this may seem like a humorous prank, I must warn these simple Midwestern folk that they are literally risking their lives if they attempt to do this with any Eagles fan, as they are the most deplorable, abhorrent, and vile group of people to ever have the misfortune of walking this Earth.
Once an Eagle fan dawns their tattered Brian Dawkins jersey, they become unhinged and unstable savages, capable of unthinkable evils. Just watch this hoard of Philly ingrates harass these Viking fans while they are walking into the stadium-
Have little sympathy for these Viking fans. This was my walk to the first tee every tournament once Gilmore joined the tour pic.twitter.com/p4X6FnmZav
— Shooter McGavin (@ShooterMcGavin_) January 23, 2018
These Philly fans literally resemble a bunch of inmates rattling on their cages while the Viking fans metaphorically walk the green mile (a la Michael Clark Duncan, R.I.P., great film) to the electric chair.
Now imagine how enraged these same fans would become if they were in an Uber headed to the Super Bowl, only to find out that they have been taken on a wild goose chase to the Buffalo Wild Wings at the Mall of America Food court. Normally an Eagles would be delighted to stuff their faces with fatty and below average food while sucking down some piss watered beers, however given the circumstances, I would image their outburst of rage would mirror that of Ryan Gosling during the elevator scene in the movie Drive.
So while I understand the Minnesotans lust for revenge, I must warn them, that it is not worth losing their lives over.